01 December 2010

You're Probably a Gainer If...

If you're reading this blog, you probably already have a pretty good idea whether or not you're a gainer. Quit splitting eclairs and enjoy the plump musings to follow. You're probably a gainer if...

You measure time in weight: "I haven't had a vacation since 220!"

You consider Thanksgiving stuffing an event rather than a dish.

You buy a shirt you love in three sizes: yours, one too small, and one too large. Obviously you want one to wear comfortably and one to grow into, plus one for a supercute "outgrown" photo shoot.

Krispy Kreme is one of your In Case of Emergency contacts.

You turn down an invitation to a buffet for dinner because you had that for lunch. Then you reconsider and accept an invitation to a buffet for dinner. Because you had that for lunch.

You prep for a visit with your parents not by vacuuming or finding a reasonable brunch spot, but by planning answers for when they ask if you've been "working out" while wincing.

You consider a mini-fridge a perfectly legitimate piece of living room furniture.

The first thing you think when you hear an acquaintance lost 10 pounds is That poor thing!

You don't own any black clothing because you find it too slimming.

And lastly, you might be a gainer if the cashier at McDonald's knows you by first name. And you've never been to that McDonald's before.