Dear goodness! I seem to have skipped right over a month there! Bad blogger. Bad blogger. Ok, now I'm just getting turned on. Just kidding, we all know I'm into other things. Well, we've made it through Chanukah, Christmas, Boxing Day, the beginning of Kwanzaa, and Britney Spears's birthday. All important.
I hope everyone had a good holiday season. Except the people I don't like. Sidenote to you folks: please stop reading my blog. If you didn't have a good one, there's always next year. Unless what made your holiday season so bad was the news that you only have 2 days to live.
So I love this time of year. Snow, more glitter than you can shake a stick at (seriously, who shakes sticks at things?), obscenely cheerful music from every store on the block, and the opportunity to lose some weight. Cue record needle screeching. That last one was sarcastic, in case you couldn't tell. Oh, it happens all right, but I don't love it.
Everyone talks about putting on winter weight, etc. but this year it just wasn't in the cards for me. First, I didn't go to tons of holiday parties with tons of fatty snacks about. One I attended provided plenty of champagne... and endive boats. They were delicious, but my pants weren't tight by the time I left. Second, my coworkers didn't start bringing in homemade tarts and goodies by the bucketload, and I couldn't exactly afford to pretend to bring in a sufficient quantity for everybody and then sneak most of it for myself, either. Third*, Mom.
Does anyone else have this issue? In anticipation of potential criticism from parents or family (not the "hehe, someone's hungry" type, but the "we need to talk" type), I cut back on my caloric intake a bit. I don't exactly rush out to Ye Olde Orthopedic Shoppe for a girdle in an attempt to hide the changes since my last visit, but I admit I do try to cut back on how much I add to The Situation. Don't pretend you haven't watched at least 5 minutes of Jersey Shore. Then when I'm actually around my family, I'm even worse: "Gee, how could I have gotten this extra padding? Certainly not from all the excess eating I don't do! See how I'm leaving 1/8 of my entree and pretending I don't want to order dessert?"
Sometimes I think I worry too much about what other people think, but then I think I'm just not living in a bubble. Everything in moderation, even non-moderation, right? It would be like if I took to highlighting my hair and my parents thought it made me look like a cactus. It's one thing to continue highlighting, but it's quite another to take my mom with me to the salon while I bleach my hair to melanin-free oblivion. Am I alone in this? Do others view holiday meals with possibly critical family as you're-not-the-boss-of-me times? Or are some measures taken to minimize pig-looking-like around certain crowds?
Remember, stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Desert spelled backward is just tresed.
*Also, just not in as much of a rush as I have been in the past.
