Showing posts with label meteor shower. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meteor shower. Show all posts

21 November 2009

Gainers Just Want to Have Phun

'Cause we're phat: pretty hot and tempting. What's that? Oh, apparently we're fat. Then I guess we just want to have fun.

Remember when we were kids, and all it took was a brick and some leaves to make a really fun game with our friends? Maybe that was just my childhood, but you catch my drift. As we get older and school, work, debt, and assorted sundry obligations seem to take over our lives, we can lose that sense of play and fun. I'm not advocating starting recess games of tag, exactly. I'm all for chasers, but let's keep it figurative. You know the fatboys would be "it" within ten seconds, and trading running after the other players for "running" after the nearest cupcakery.

I do think a lot of us in the gainerverse tend to lose sight of the concept of having fun, however. Sure, a little anxiety about some of the changes we're going through is to be expected, but the fun we're having ought to make it clearly worth it. This seems to come up most often in the foods we eat. One of my favorite things about going for it is the freedom to eat whatever I want. What I want. Hear that? That's the sound of me not ordering the most fattening menu item because it just doesn't sound that tasty. Until scientists discover a better method (and you know it's a top priority), eating extra is pretty much the best method out there for getting bigger; why not make it as enjoyable as possible? When guys starting out have asked me what they should eat to gain, I tell them "what you like!" I promise, you'll eat more of it, and even if it's less caloric/fat-grammy/carby/etc, it will do good things in time*. If Newsweek reported tomorrow that pan-seared baby lion's paw pads were the most fattening substance on earth, I wouldn't eat them. If you just love eating sticks of butter, go for it, but if you're eating something JUST for the gaining benefits but you're neglecting your taste buds, you may want to balance your meals with something extra delicious for dessert. You were planning to have dessert, weren't you?

Checking ourselves out in a mirror while wearing a small shirt when a large is more appropriate is frequently a favorite activity of our kind. Wearing said shirt in public is too... for some of us. There's no instruction manual for gainers and encouragers, no hard and fast rules regarding how we're supposed to act and what we're supposed to do. Just because A enjoys messily being fed pizza at the Buon Giorno Buffet doesn't mean U have to. (Like that? Thanks, Prince, for expanding the rules of grammR and sp3ll1ng) It can be fun to try new things, but if you're finding repeatedly that they're making you nervous or embarrassed, stop doing them. For now. You may be surprised that in different company, or at a different time, you find the fun in things you'd never considered could be a good time. Also, I'm sure you have your own bizarre twist on the gaining fantasy that you can have fun with. Embrace it, even if you can't get your arms around it.

(Not really all that) secret story time: I gained once before and then in the fire I lost everything! No, there was no fire, but I did lose all the weight. When I started college, I exceeded the freshman 15 by a little and by my junior year I had moved and was in a more expensive living arrangement, killing time by exploring my new neighborhood on foot. It was proving really challenging not only to continue the gain, but even to maintain. I was getting frustrated over my utter lack of progress, and this really hot activity was becoming a chore. So I stopped trying. At that time, for me, it was the right call and I was able to enjoy my days more not stressing over every little thing that went into my tummy (or didn't). I lost everything I'd put on, but actually felt really good. For a while. Losing what I'd gained made me appreciate it more and in time I started up round 2, where I am now (well beyond my round 1 peak, for the record), and the challenge of continuing is exciting rather than frustrating. Also, Ben and Jerry's has released several new ice cream flavors since then, which is just plain phuntastic.

* celery need not apply

25 October 2009

Smelly Cat

A few years ago, and then a few years more, when I turned 18, I earned the right to vote, serve on a jury, buy cigarettes, and talk to people from the wide scary world that was the internet. I have since enjoyed 2.5 of the aforementioned rights. I think it was definitely a good call waiting until I turned 18 to talk to fellow residents of the gainerverse (my isolated bizarre attempt at 13 notwithstanding) as it made things more comfortable for me and anyone I was talking to in terms of the not-so-minor minor issue.

In my years as a speaking member of this gaining universe, I've made all kinds of friends: skinny friends, fat friends, friends I will probably only ever talk to online, friends I may see once every year or two at events or when traveling, friends I've known for a third of my life, friends I've just met, friends over 40 (to my fellow 20-somethings: it's true!), and even friends with whom I've almost forgotten how things started. I consider myself rather fortunate to have lived in areas with decent gay and gainer/encourager populations and to have not been too afraid to take a leap here and there to meet them. Remember kids: well-lit, public places and let someone know where you're going. While we can usually tell from a few conversations and probably a photo or two if we'll get along, there's no real way to predict how you'll get along.

Once upon a time I was going out with a fellow who was none too into gaining and was none too thrilled that I maintained a profile on beefyfrat. I tried explaining that talking to guys was quite different than "talking to guys" (cue Carrie Bradshaw in 3, 2, 1) and I couldn't help but wonder: Why do I have/want friends from the gaining world in the first place? I'm not saying I would do things exactly the same way if I had them to do all over again with the fellow, but he did get me thinking. Isn't it a little off for friendships to spring from a shared kink?

Yes and no. I can't lie and say I've never found any of my gaining/encouraging friends attractive. Well, I can... but I won't. However, one of the greatest thrills and threats in all of this is the potential for judgement. There's all kinds of talk of "have you gotten any comments?" and "what did people say after you put on so much so fast?" but sometimes even the heartiest fan of being teased for his weight/gain wants a respite from the negative connotation of such things.

Do guys who dig stilettos seek friendships with others like them? I have no idea, but ours is one of relatively few kinks that manifests itself physically. We gainers are tagged not necessarily as gainers, but as guys who have gained weight, who have gotten fat, who have let go, etc. Many kinks can completely stay behind closed doors, "in the closet," but while we may not need to express the arousal that comes along with it, we can't very well hide the changes we've undergone and it's nice to know that there are others who support your endeavors, who think you're fine as you are. Sometimes it feels amazing just to be able to chat about the TV show you saw where a character got huge in a dream sequence or when you first knew you wanted to be fat and sometimes it feels amazing to not utter the G word at all, but just to know you're with friends around whom you have no need to suck it in, no need to be self-conscious about ordering 2 desserts, no need to pretend you're not drooling over the guy 2 aisles in front of you at the movie who should have given up his t-shirt 25 pounds ago.

I certainly don't intend to imply that this is an all-or-nothing proposition: either you're romping naked in a kiddie pool of hot fudge (ow) or playing Connect Four while sipping hot tea (for my wimpy taste buds, ow) as I am aware there are huge grey areas between platonic, sexual, and romantic relationships, perhaps for us even more than in the traditional dating world... but friendships do form whether we're looking for them or not.

Have you formed friendships in the gainerverse? Have you sought them out or have they been more accidental? Are friendships based on pieces of our sexuality at their core crazy by nature? Would you like fries with that?

Incurably curiously,
Phil Doubt

P.S. I hope you don't mind my rambling. Just be glad you're not getting voicemail messages from me, unless of course you're one of my phone-a-friends.
What's that? Phone-a-friend was eliminated from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire earlier this month? I'm now using an outdated outdated pop culture reference? Shoot.