Incredibly Round and Extremely Verbose

Once upon a time... is a show that premiered last year on ABC but lost me about 8 episodes in.  Also, once upon a time I changed my online identity to PhilDoubt, but not before considering a few alternatives, the list of which has grown (more than I have!) over the past year or so.  Here is a selection of ten helpless options I chose to neglect and abandon and why.

Oops...IDidItAGain  Glee just ruins so many good screen names, doesn't it?

HotTub I'm amazing at a lot of things, but being conceited isn't one of them.

BlubberMaid I think I might be allergic to feathers.

FatMintCookie It just wouldn't be fair to Samoas.

DorothyZmorsnack A Rose here.

GlenHoHo The slutty Santa suggestion was just too strong and I like my North Pole residents chaste.

FedLobster Too many painful sunburns in my youth.  I'm getting deep.  Just like the sun's rays.

StrawberryShortJake I just don't think I look like a Jake.

PhilSmithAt122W28thStNewYorkNY10029call555.212.9890ATMpin4214SSN53302 then I ran out of characters

LittleDebbieDowner Oh, I'm still holding on to this one.